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RV78DS4 - To behave rightly is to have consideration and respect
Rishi Valley, India - 12 December 1978
Discussion with Students 4



0:19 Krishnamurti: Go on, sir. Who is my friend here? Ah, here he is. And the other? What shall we talk about?
0:59 Student: Shall we talk about peer pressure?
1:02 K: Beg your pardon?
1:04 S: Shall we talk about peer pressure?
1:07 S: Peer pressure.
1:15 S: Pressure from outside.
1:20 Narayan: Pressure.

K: Pressure.
1:25 K: You want to talk about pressure, do you?
1:28 S: Peer pressure.
1:34 N: The pressure of fear. Fear and pressure.
1:38 K: Oh, you want to discuss, talk over together, fear and pressure – is that it?
1:45 S: No. Peer pressure.
1:50 K: What?

S: Peer pressure.
2:00 K: Pleasure?
2:03 S: Peer pressure. Peer means from your friends. Peer means people of your own age, pressure that they are giving.
2:10 N: Peer group. Pressure of the peer group.
2:13 K: What are peer groups?

N: A same age group.
2:17 S: Your friends.
2:21 K: I don't understand the language you are using.
2:24 S: For example, when your classmates do something, you want to do the same thing, you don't want to be left out, you don't want to be isolated, that is meant by peer pressure.
2:34 K: Ah! Thank you for explaining. First, you have heard several times now, we have talked about fear. Right? Are you afraid at the end of these two or three discussions that we have had here, are you afraid of your teachers, of your parents, of your friends, or the group around you who do something and you don't do it, the same thing, and therefore you are frightened not to be part of them? There are these kinds of fears. Right? Since we have talked about it, are you free from these fears?
3:48 S: No, sir.
3:50 K: He says, no sir. Why?
4:00 S: You said that there is a sequence, you told us about it last time, memory and all that.

K: Yes.
4:09 S: So when you think about the past and about the future – you said you would tell us how to forget about the past and not to think about the future. You will tell us how to do it.
4:23 K: He wants to know that fear is caused by thinking about the past happening, incident, which might have hurt you, and that hurt might be repeated in the future, therefore thinking about the past and thinking about the future bring fear – right? He wants to know how not to think about the past, not to think about the future. He wants to know how. He wants to know what is the method. Right?

S: Yes.
5:09 K: What is the system. What is the rule which you follow, and you will get rid of fear.
5:20 S: Yes.

K: Yes?
5:23 K: You are quite sure?

S: Yes.
5:26 S: Is there any way, the way to get it.
5:28 K: The way to it?

S: The way to get rid of it.
5:31 K: The way to get rid of it.
5:35 K: You know, there are several ways to get rid of fear. Suppress it, control it, run away from it.
5:48 S: But if you run away from it, again you will have the fear.
5:50 K: Therefore what will you do? Just listen to the question first – if you suppress it, it will come back.
5:59 K: If you run away from it...

S: It will come back.
6:02 K: If you kind of say, I won't think about it, it is there. So what will you do? Just think about it carefully.
6:16 S: Go with it?
6:18 S: If you are interested in what you are doing at the moment, then you don't think of either the past or the future, you just think of the present.
6:26 K: Right. You only think of the present when the teacher is scolding you. And when the teacher is scolding you, at that moment you are frightened – right?
6:41 S: Yes.
6:43 K: So how will you stop the teacher from scolding you?
6:51 N: What she said was, if you are interested in doing something, then you are not concerned about the present or the future. Then, she said, there is no fear. That is what she said.

K: I beg your pardon.
7:05 K: She said that if you are interested in what you are doing whether it is pottery, mathematics, playing cricket or some other subject, when you are really interested in what you are doing, then there is no fear – right? Now, one of our questions was: the teacher scolds you, at that moment you are frightened, what will you do? How will you stop this teacher from scolding you?
7:42 S: By understanding the teacher.
7:44 K: No, look carefully. You are doing something wrong, not completely correct. He has repeated once, he probably has repeated again, and then gets irritated with you, and then he scolds you – right? That is, you don't do something correctly, properly, he tells you first nicely, second time perhaps more nicely, but third time or fourth time, he gets irritated, then he scolds you – right? So what will you do to prevent from being scolded, which is wrong?
8:23 S: Behaving in a way by which he will not have a chance to scold you.
8:29 K: Yes, so what will you do?
8:33 S: We should think what he feels is right and what we feel is right.
8:37 K: No, you are not doing something which you have both agreed is right, and you are not paying attention to it, you are rather slack, you are rather sloppy and he tells you, and he begins to scold you. How will you correct yourself and the teacher?
9:02 S: When the teacher is scolding you, you must watch the process as he is scolding you.
9:10 K: Yes, I am scolding you – I hope not, but I am scolding you – because I am tired, I am bored with my teaching, I am not efficient at my subject and that is an escape from my inefficiency, by scolding you. You understand? My inefficiency, to cover that up, I scold you. How will you prevent my scolding you?
9:55 S: You can't.
9:58 K: He says, you can't. Why?
10:02 S: Because you do not direct his or her mind. You do not direct it.
10:09 K: You are not directed?

S: You do not direct.
10:12 S: You cannot direct the mind of another person.

K: You can't.
10:15 S: So, he can tell anything to you, even though you are not the cause of the scolding. You are not the cause of his anger.
10:26 K: So, you may not be the cause but you might also be the cause.
10:30 S: Yes. You could be the cause.

K: It could be one or the other.
10:34 K: How will you prevent the teacher from scolding you?
10:39 S: Which instance?
10:41 K: Yes.
10:44 S: You mustn't react.
10:49 K: So, how will you prevent from reacting?
10:54 S: Ignore the person.

K: Ignore the teacher. The more you ignore him, the more he gets annoyed.
11:03 S: But, he can't keep scolding you for long. He will stop.
11:08 K: As we talked about the other day, no teacher, no educator must scold a student. Absolutely. That is terrible. Now, how will you deal with the matter?
11:27 S: When you see that the teacher is irritated, and because he is irritated, he is taking out his anger on you. And then you feel that what he is doing is very petty for he is taking it out on you.
11:43 K: He is taking it out of you.
11:46 S: But then you don't react because...
11:48 K: Ah, it sounds very nice, it sounds very nice sitting here, but you are in the classroom and the teacher is the boss, and he scolds you – what will you do?
12:05 S: You have nothing to do.
12:07 K: So, as you have nothing to do, let him scold, but don't be frightened.
12:12 S: Yes.

K: You understand?
12:15 S: If the reason he is doing it for is wrong.
12:18 K: Or rightly.
12:20 S: But if you have done something wrong.
12:22 K: If you have done something wrong, ask him to explain to you, several times, and if you keep on doing something wrong all the time, he says, for God's sake, don't do that, and you get frightened. You follow? You have been the cause. But suppose he is the cause, then you listen to him and don't get frightened. That is the main thing.
13:02 S: How can you be the cause when you think that what you are doing is right?
13:07 K: That is a different matter. That is quite a different matter. If what you think is right, you have to show to the educator, the teacher, that what you think is right. Show it to him, discuss with him. Go into it, find out. Right. Now, as we were saying and we were asking, are you frightened by your teachers?
13:45 S: A few.
13:47 K: What do you mean a few teachers frighten you?
13:51 S: I am scared of a few.

K: Me?
13:53 S: Me, I am scared of a few.
13:55 K: You are scared of yourself?
13:57 S: No, I am scared of a few teachers.
14:00 K: You are scared of a few teachers and what will you do with those few teachers who frighten you?
14:06 S: Keep aloof. Keep away from them.
14:13 K: Keep aloof from them. How can you when they are teaching you in the class?
14:19 S: In the class you just be a normal person, but outside, try to avoid them as far as possible.
14:24 K: Outside the class, you disregard him.
14:28 S: Not disregard him.
14:30 S: Just say, hello, hello.

K: What?
14:35 S: If he tells you, hello, you tell him back, hello also.
14:37 K: If he says, hello, you say, hello back to him. All right. But, in the class, he frightens you, he scolds you, will you say, sorry sir, it is all right to scold, but I am not frightened?
14:58 S: But you may be frightened.
15:00 K: But don't be, I am saying don't be frightened.
15:03 S: You could be.

K: You could be.
15:06 K: Many people are. But will you stop being frightened?
15:14 S: I can.
15:16 K: You can, can't you? So do it, will you?
15:19 S: Yes.
15:21 K: Will you do it? If you say something you will do, that is a promise, you can't break a promise – to anybody. If you give a promise to X, Y, Z, you must keep that promise. So will you, when the teacher scolds you, not be frightened?
15:50 S: I will try my best.

K: No, don't do your best. That is the worst thing.

S: No – try.
15:56 K: Don't try. Don't do it. Trying doesn't stop fear. If you say, I won't be frightened, that is...
16:09 K: Right? Will you do it?

S: Yes.
16:13 K: That is a promise.

S: Right.
16:15 K: You will keep it.

S: Yes.
16:17 K: Right. Phew! And then the question: there is pressure. Right?

S: Yes.
16:29 K: You know what pressure is?
16:35 S: Force.

K: Force. Go on. Tell me something more about it. Think it out. Think it out carefully. I am your father, and I force you – that is one kind of pressure. I am your mother, and I say, darling, do this – that is a pressure. Right? The teacher says, I will give you more marks if you do that – that is a pressure. Yes, you are being forced through false affection, through reward, or through punishment. You understand? You are being under pressure, compulsion, either through reward or punishment. Right? Now, can you not submit to pressure?
17:59 S: Pressure is caused by acting the way people want you to act instead of the way you feel you should act.
18:05 K: What is that?
18:06 N: Pressure is caused by forcing yourself the way others want you to act.
18:14 K: That is another form of pressure. That is, people are following a certain tradition like puja or a ritual, and if you don't do that and if you think that is silly, the other person puts pressure on you, which is punishment or reward. He says, if you do puja, I will give you ten rupees. If you don't do it, I will punish you. So, pressure exists in different forms but most of them contain this principle of reward and punishment. Right? Is that clear?
19:09 S: Yes.
19:13 K: So will you not be under pressure by society, by your friends, by your father, by your mother and so on? If you are not under their pressure, you become very lonely, don't you?
19:34 S: Yes.
19:37 S: You are the only person out.

K: Yes.
19:39 K: So will you be frightened?
19:46 S: I won't leave them. It means I go with them.
19:51 K: So, you are then under their pressure.
19:54 S: Yes.
19:55 K: So you live under pressure, and what does that pressure do to you?
20:04 S: Make you do things which you don't want.
20:07 K: So you are always in conflict, aren't you? I want you to do something because I am bigger, I have money, I am your parent or I am your teacher or I represent the government. And so, when you are under pressure, you get frightened if you don't do what the other people demand – that is another form of fear. You understand?
20:39 S: If I feel I should not do this, I will not do it. If I feel, I should not do this, it is very wrong, then I will not do it.

K: Of course, but will you do that when there is pressure of money, job, your parents, your society and so on? Say, this is wrong, I won't do it.
21:07 S: No.
21:09 K: Yes.
21:13 S: But sometimes when they say, if you do something, I will give you ten rupees. Just for the sake of ten rupees you do that.
21:21 K: That is right.

S: You can call it greediness.
21:26 K: Yes, that is part of greediness. All right. Is this more or less talked, clear? If it is clear, don't do anything that is not clear to you.
21:43 S: But do you think it is better to be left out?
21:46 K: Why not? If you want to live without any kind of pressure, you won't submit to any pressure, including mine.
22:06 S: For example, some people don't like eating bubblegum but others eat bubblegum, so they also chew bubblegum. Why is it so?
22:18 N: It is a question of eating bubblegum.
22:20 K: Oh, that is a horrible thing!
22:27 S: He is sure to stop eating.
22:30 K: Yes. What else would you like to talk about?
22:47 S: Because that person feels that a certain thing is right, he can't force the others to do it.
22:52 K: No.
22:56 S: He cannot but he is.
22:57 K: He will, because that is human nature. I think this is right, I want you to do what I think,
23:05 K: which is wrong.

S: It may be wrong.
23:08 K: I beg your pardon, it may be wrong. Any more questions?
23:24 S: Competition.
23:26 K: What?

S: Competition.
23:29 N: Competition.
23:31 K: Competition. All right.
23:33 K: Why do you compete? Why does any group of people compete?
23:40 S: We compare each other.
23:43 K: That is right. We talked about this the other day, didn't we? Not to compare.
23:53 S: That question which I asked you before, about if there is a person, which is true, he is not good at English.
24:02 N: He is not good at English.
24:05 K: Ah, he is not good at English.
24:07 S: Another is good at English. So a teacher says, you are good at English, he is bad at English. Then is that comparison or is this also comparison, saying, you are a good man, you are a bad man? Which is comparison?

K: No.
24:23 K: But if you are the bad man and he says, you must be as good as the good man, that is comparison. Look, I say to you, your eyesight is not good, but that fellow has good eyesight. That is not comparison, is it?
24:46 S: That is what I mean. Yes.
24:48 K: That is not comparison.
24:49 S: So if you say, he is good at English, he is bad at English, that is not comparison.

K: That is not comparison. But if the teacher says, you are bad at English, but you must be as good as the other chap who is very good at English, then that is comparison. Right? Clear?

S: Yes.
25:09 S: Through comparing like this, maybe that fellow can catch up with this person. It has done good to him.
25:15 K: That is competition, that is what he was asking.
25:19 S: It causes fear.
25:24 K: It causes fear. When there is competition, there is jealousy, there is anger, there is a sense of annoyance, fear. Isn't there?

S: Yes.
25:40 K: So can you stop competing?
25:43 S: Then how do you encourage a person?
25:46 S: How do you encourage a person.
25:51 K: How do you encourage a person to study.
25:57 S: For anything.
26:00 K: All right. How do you encourage a person?
26:06 S: By comparing.

K: No.
26:09 K: We said comparison brings fear.
26:13 S: It does, but that is how it is done.
26:15 K: I know – usually people do that, but you then live in constant fear. So not to have fear, can you stop comparing?
26:30 S: You can.
26:32 K: Now, I want to encourage you in English. How shall I do it?
26:46 S: To study hard.
26:48 K: No, tell me how am I to encourage you so that you study English without fear – listen carefully – without fear, without pressure, without reward and punishment.
27:04 S: You should teach the child to love the subject.
27:09 K: I don't like mathematics. How am I to love the subject?
27:17 S: You could teach someone to like it by showing him a different aspect of mathematics.
27:27 K: Yes, all right, that is rather complex subject. Because if you are interested in gardening, you need to measure, don't you? The right length, the depth of the hole in which you are going to plant – that is part of mathematics.
27:50 S: But that is very elementary.
27:54 K: That is very elementary. But if you are interested in the whole process of mathematics, which is sequence, order – as Narayan explained the other day – pattern, and the carrying out of the pattern, which is, as he pointed out, a dead end. It doesn't lead you any further. But mathematics isn't just that. If you are interested in order, it is part of your life, whether you can live a tremendously orderly life, not follow a pattern, not say orderly life is what the totalitarian states say or what the priests say or somebody else says. Order means you have to find out – it is a very complex process – you have to find out why you live in disorder.
29:00 S: What is a totalitarian? You said something, total.
29:04 N: Totalitarian state.
29:06 K: Totalitarian states. You know what dictatorship is?

S: Yes.
29:21 K: How do you know it?
29:22 S: Because I have read books.
29:25 K: You have read books. Have you had a dictatorship in India?
29:31 S: Yes.

K: Yes?
29:32 S: Sort of.

K: Sort of. Right. Now, when there is a dictator and he is supreme authority, he collects a few people around him because they all believe in the same thing, and they say, the whole of this country shall be ruled by us, according to our ideas, according to our beliefs, according to what we think. They control your thinking, they control your work, you can't go from Madanapalle to Madras or somewhere else without their permission, you can't write books without their permission, which might be against them and so on. They control all your life, which is called totalitarianism.
30:33 S: Yes.
30:36 K: Russia is doing it, Poland is trying to do it, Czechoslovakia – all these countries, they are all trying to bring about a totalitarian state.
30:49 S: But that does not please the people.
30:52 K: But they shoot them, they put them in prison, they send them to mental hospitals.
30:58 S: That is pressure.
31:02 K: Of course, that is pressure. They exercise pressure. They think that is right.
31:11 S: But to control such a big place, with so many people living in it, that is the only way out.
31:18 K: Oh, that is the only way to bring about order.
31:25 S: Yes.
31:27 K: Do you like that?

S: No.
31:29 K: If you don't like it, why do you want it for the others? Right? Is that clear? Right. I would like to talk about behaviour. May I?
31:59 S: Yes.

K: No.
32:03 K: Do you like to listen, do you like to hear about behaviour?
32:07 S: Yes.

K: Does it interest you?
32:11 S: Yes.
32:14 K: What is behaviour? What is courtesy? What is politeness? What is consideration? What is to yield happily to some other's wishes without being compelled? All that is implied in behaviour. Say for instance, if I come to a meeting ten minutes late and keep you all waiting, that is incorrect behaviour, because I am being impolite to you. I am not considering keeping you waiting. Right? So, lack of consideration for another is not proper behaviour. I am talking and you go on talking at the same time – you neither listen to me, I neither listen to you. Right? So consideration is, to listen to what you have to say. Consideration is, to appear at meals at the exact time, because you are concerned about the cook, the people. Right? So, behaviour implies you are concerned about the other person. Now, if the other person is the governor or prime minister or an important person, all of you are very considerate.
34:16 S: You have got something to gain.
34:17 K: That is right. You have got something to gain. And would you call that behaviour proper behaviour?
34:25 S: No.

K: No.
34:26 S: If you are in time for other meetings also.
34:30 K: What?

S: If you are in time for other meetings.
34:33 K: If you are, what?

S: In time, for other meetings,
34:37 S: and you are also in time for these meetings,
34:39 S: that is good behaviour.

K: That is right. So, we generally respect people who have power, who have position, from whom you can gain something, but we don't respect people who are the gardener, the cook, the servant – all right? Right? So, what is important in behaviour is consideration and respect.
35:11 S: For all.

K: No, not for all.
35:14 K: If you have that, consideration for another, respect for another, you will naturally behave properly to the poor man, to the rich man, to the man in power, you have respect. You understand? Now, have you got such respect?
35:33 S: Me?

K: Yes, you, of course.
35:35 S: No.

K: No? Why?
35:41 K: You haven't thought about it – right? Now let's think about it.
35:46 S: Why should we have that respect?
35:48 K: Why should you have respect.
35:51 S: Good behaviour.
35:54 K: Why do you have respect, why do you want to behave properly – right? Why? Why do you think? Why do you think you should respect another?
36:05 S: So that person feels wanted.
36:12 S: That person feels wanted.
36:14 K: That person feels wanted. It is rather complicated. Now, just listen. I am asking him, we explained very carefully what is behaviour, right behaviour, that is to have respect and consideration for another, whether he is a general, a big politician, or a big businessman who has plenty of money, position, status. And the cook, the servant, you don't respect at all. Right? You have understood this? Correct behaviour implies that you have respect and consideration. Now, will you have respect for your servant, for your teacher, for your mother, for your father? Respect.
37:29 S: I don't respect my servant as much as I do for my parents.
37:36 K: Why?
37:37 S: Because we feel our parents are more important.
37:40 K: That means what? They give you money, you have shelter.
37:46 S: We take them in a higher level.
37:47 K: Yeah, you put them on a higher pedestal and the servant down there. Now, you misbehave to the servant, and you kind of tremendously respect your parents. Which means what? You are frightened. If you have no fear you respect him as well as the man on a pedestal. Have you ever watched a big politician, how he comes into a house, how he is treated when he is in an airport, a railway station or any other place? Have you watched it?
38:23 S: No.
38:25 K: Everybody grovels. Says huh, huh, huh – you follow? And a servant comes along, you say phoo, kick him. I was a guest once in a house, and we were sitting down and a servant comes in. I get up out of politeness. And my host says, oh, don't get up, he is merely a servant. You understand? Now, will you have this respect and consideration in yourself, so that you treat everybody with respect?
39:12 S: But if a man is very rude why should we have respect for him?
39:18 K: If a man is very rude to you, why should you have respect for him. He might be rude because he doesn't know how to behave properly. Right? He has no respect for you but he has tremendous respect for a man in a big position. So he has no respect, but you have respect. So as long as you have consideration and respect for another, it doesn't matter how other people behave. Now, you have listened to that, haven't you? Now will you have respect and consideration for every human being, doesn't matter whether he is the prime minister, the general, a king or a cook, or a servant, or anybody?
40:23 S: I don't know.
40:24 K: You will?

S: I don't know.
40:26 K: What do you mean, you don't know?
40:28 S: I have never given a thought to it.
40:30 K: Give thought to it, I am giving thought to it. Hey! Where are you? Are you asleep? We are giving thought to it, we are discussing.
40:42 S: Yes, but I have never experienced it. I have never had a chance to think about it when I am experiencing it.
40:50 K: Think about it now and look at it carefully, understand it and say, that is right behaviour and I am going to behave rightly.
41:09 S: But the behaviour which you think is right might be wrong.
41:11 K: No, respect. Right behaviour implies courtesy, politeness, consideration, respect for another. That means consideration for another and respect for another. If you have that in you, you behave correctly whether he is a prime minister or a servant. You have heard this, haven't you? You see the reason of it? Will you do it? Again, I said, if you say I will do it, it is a promise and you cannot break a promise.
42:07 S: We will have to try it.
42:09 K: Not try it, see the reason, see why you should be that way, why it is necessary to have great consideration for others, respect for others. Not for the top dog, not the man who shouts most, but perhaps the man who doesn't say a thing to you, that peasant that goes by, the villager.
42:43 S: Then the other person may feel wanted.
42:52 K: Wanted by you. All right.
42:56 S: If you respect him, then he may feel wanted towards you.
43:01 N: He says if you respect him, he may also feel wanted.
43:05 K: What does that mean?

N: I don't know what he means, probably he means he will also respect you. Do you mean that?
43:11 S: He will feel that he is also important, as important as you in that situation.
43:18 K: Yes, quite. Will you do it? Will you have this respect and consideration for others?
43:26 S: We will have to try it out.
43:29 N: He says we will have to try it out.
43:30 K: No, don't try it out. Do it! This is another escape – you follow? Come on, you haven't answered me. I am going to push you. I am pressurising you. I am asking, you have listened carefully, what it means to behave, which means consideration for another, respect for another. When you respect people you are polite to them, you are considerate to them, you help them, you are kind to them, whether he is a big man or a little man. Right? Wait a minute. That is right behaviour. One must behave rightly in life. Right? Now, you have listened to it carefully. Will you do it?
44:33 S: I think I can't promise you.
44:36 K: You can't promise me.

S: Yes.
44:38 K: Why?

S: Because I don't know.
44:41 K: What do you mean, you don't know?
44:43 S: I have no idea of what I am supposed to do.
44:48 K: You are not supposed to do anything. You have respect for me, haven't you?
44:54 S: Yes.

K: Why?
45:07 K: And you don't have respect to that villager going by, do you?
45:14 K: No.

S: Not as much.
45:15 K: No. Be simple. Be honest.
45:17 S: Not as much. There may be, but it is in a different light.
45:23 K: Ah, don't play tricks.

S: No, I mean it.
45:27 K: I know, don't play tricks. You see, you have never thought about this. You have never said, look, let me find out what it means to behave, what it means to behave rightly. To behave rightly is to have consideration and respect at all times. Right? Agree?

S: Yes.
46:02 K: Now, you see the reason of it. Right?

S: Yes.
46:10 K: Now, if you see something to be true, why don't you do it?
46:15 S: By respecting one person, I mean, not in the right way he should be respected, then you might be ruining him. He might think anyway I am being respected, why should I carry on with my job. He neglects his job.
46:33 K: Leave your job then.
46:36 S: Then how does he lead his life?
46:39 K: No, you haven't first understood the principle. The principle, the truth of the matter, which is, if I come late to a meeting, it is disrespect for the audience – right? When a singer who is singing on the platform, and I talk to you while he is singing, that is rude to the person. And when you are talking, and I am also talking, that is rude to you. So, consideration for you means I listen to you. I want to find out what you think, and you have consideration for me, therefore you also listen, you also respect. So have that, the feeling of it, the principle of it, that you must have respect, consideration for other human beings. If you have, that villager will be totally different. You will help them, you will create something new. But we are so indifferent to others. We are only concerned with ourselves, our ideas, our capacity, etc. Whereas if you are considerate, respectful, the other people matter also. You understand? Right, sir? Where are you now?
48:28 S: Here.
48:29 K: You are here. Of course you are here. But I am asking you, you have thought about this, haven't you?
48:43 S: No.
48:47 K: If you have thought about it, if you have listened to it, has that taken root in you?
48:54 S: I feel it is necessary.
48:57 K: You feel it is necessary. But I am asking you, has it taken root in you? Like you put a seed in the earth, you water it, look after it, it puts out its root, and then grows. Now, has this feeling of respect and consideration for people, has that taken root in you?
49:22 S: Not yet.

K: No, don't say not yet.
49:25 K: That means you are not listening.
49:27 S: No.
49:28 K: It has not taken root. Why?
49:35 S: Because I have not thought anything deeply about it.
49:38 K: That is right. You have not thought deeply about anything. Now, think deeply about respect, about consideration, which means affection, which means kindliness, which means generosity – you understand? Now, think about it and let it take root in you, so that it flowers. Because this is very important. Most people are very rude, inconsiderate, they are so concerned with themselves – with their position, with their problems, with their ambitions and so on, so they disregard everybody. So, when they are in that state, they don't know what behaviour is.
50:55 S: Now, if there is a person going out, now you are talking here. All your talks are being recorded.

K: Yes.
51:02 S: If there is a peasant who is talking, his talk is not being recorded. Nothing is happening to his talks. It may be listened to, it may not be listened to. It is forgotten. But the talks given by some others, a higher person, say a politician, that was recorded, it gets played. So it is always thought about.
51:24 K: Yes, because the politician is generally – with all due respect to him – it is generally hot air. You know what hot air is?

S: Yes, balloon.
51:38 K: Oh my Lord! You know, I was walking once with a friend of mine in Madras and there was a big open space, and there were lots of people, lots of people, really, all kinds of people. And a man was standing on a platform and promising them – my friend translated what he said in Tamil – promising them a cottage, a cow, land, everything they wanted. Right?

S: Yes.
52:16 K: Of course he could never fulfil that, could he? Right? So, nobody wants to listen the second time because he was not going to do it. Now I am asking you, has this taken root in you? Find out why.
52:40 S: Because it is true.
52:42 K: Now, when you learn English or mathematics, it takes root in you, doesn't it? Why doesn't this take root in you? This is as important, perhaps more important, than mathematics.
53:05 S: Because we haven't gone deep into it.
53:07 K: So go into it very deeply, talk to your teacher, and say, let's go deeply into this question, because that is most important, how to behave. Right?
53:25 S: Should we pay respect to somebody who doesn't pay respect to you?
53:32 K: What did you say?
53:38 S: She says, should you pay respect to somebody who does not pay respect to you. Say, he says he does not have any consideration for you, any consideration at all. And should you have any consideration for him at all?
53:58 K: I said to you, if the root has taken place in you, that is, the root of respect, consideration, affection, then whether he is rude to you or not rude to you, you are totally indifferent, because you are concerned with consideration.
54:25 S: By respecting him, he might respect you.
54:28 K: That is a reward and punishment. I respect him because then he will respect me. Which means what? I am going to get something out of it.
54:41 S: Some people respect somebody else because of jewels or food or something. If he had not given he would not have respected him.
54:51 K: That is right. As long as you get something from somebody, people respect, but since you don't get anything out of that villager – you follow? So, have you got this thing rooted in you? You understand? You haven't got it rooted in you. Why? You know, if the soil isn't right, any amount of putting your seed in it, nothing will happen. So, the soil is your hearing, paying attention to what is being said, that is the soil. When you listen with attention, in that soil the seed can take root and flower. Now, when I say to you as a friend, I say to you, look, unless you behave properly, life becomes chaotic, a mess, a confusion. So if each human being behaved rightly they would begin to have order. So I say, have respect and consideration in you. That is the seed in you. Which means that seed can only take root when you listen very carefully, when you attend to what is being said, then it naturally takes place. You understand?
56:53 S: You say if each human being lives in the way he wants, what he feels is right...
57:00 K: No, I didn't say what he feels is right. I said if each human being has consideration for another, respect for another, generosity, kindliness, you know, not being so terribly selfish, then we will bring order in the world. Right?

S: Yes.
57:29 K: Right. Do you want to sit quietly? I am not asking you to sit quietly. Do you want to? Many: Yes.
57:56 S: How do you think we can keep our mind quiet?
58:00 K: How do you keep your minds quiet. That is one of the most difficult things to do. It requires going into it very, very, very deeply.
58:22 S: Then what is the use of telling us to keep quiet now?
58:26 K: Now?

S: Yes.
58:29 K: Do you remember what that girl said? The little girl over there? She said, when you keep quiet you gather energy.
58:42 S: But you won't be keeping quiet, because you said it is the most difficult thing, and I have not been able, I can't keep my mind keep quiet.
58:50 K: Quite right, you can't keep your mind quiet because the mind is chattering, chattering, chattering. How will you find out to have the mind very, very quiet? How will you find out?
59:06 S: I don't know.

K: No, don't say you don't know.
59:09 K: Let's find out. Right? We have to stop now, but let's find out how to have a very quiet, delicate, sensitive mind. Let's find out. We will discuss it next time. Right? Right, sirs. Is that enough? Or do you want to discuss how to have a quiet mind now?
1:00:07 S: I don't mind finding out.
1:00:09 K: Do you want to find out now, or do you want to postpone it till next time?
1:00:16 S: Next time.

K: Next time. Right.